Welcome To the Heartbreak of Your Life
by DeMi.X.sElEnA.fanfix4evr
Summary: Not WOWP. Selena Gomez, Hayley Williams. Pretend that neither Selena or Paramore got famous yet. What happens when the city girl visits the farm and meets the lone small town rocker chick. Will sparks fly? Now M. May repost a T version also. Thoughts?
1. The First Date

A rock goddess. That's what she was. Dancing up there with her band, singing her heart out and making everyone fall in love with her. Including me. In fact that's where I met her. Backstage after a show, when Paramore was just a little Tennesee band that I happened to see while visiting my cousin. I was up front, the way I always have been at shows, getting beaten by a crowd of moshing punks. She caught my eye and smiled. That's when the show went black for me. I crashed headfirst into the stage. Blacked out. My cousin pulled me out of the pit, insisting we went home before the show was over. I looked at her once and told her she was insane for even thinking I could leave without meeting that girl. I marched back in and missed the end of their show. Determined as I was, I went around back and snuck in. The sneaking part never really happened though, it was such a small town that the bands enjoyed meeting people. When I finally found her, she was buttoning up the plaid shirt she'd swapped for her sweaty t-shirt from the show.

"Hey, you ok? That was a pretty nasty dive you did into the stage." She flashed a worried grin. God, her voice was even amazing offstage. It was raspy, worn from years of singing, and in a small town I assumed pot.

"Uh, yeah, thanks. Hey... I know you probably have a party or something to go to, but I'm staying in the city twenty minutes from here and I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a slice of pizza or a cup of coffee? I understand if you don't, I mean... we don't even know each other on a first name basis but-"

"I'd love to, but... I don't drive, and I can't ask you to drive me home after." She looked downat her shoes.

"You could stay with me overnight. I have to come back tomorrow anyways. My cousin lives here."

"Dude, serious? This is the coolest thing anyone's ever done. Coffee's on me." She grinned.

"Awesome. Well, I'll go grab my car. Meet me out front?" She nodded.

When I pulled around from Charlie's place, I was the last car in the lot. She was waiting under alamp post waiting. "I thought you forgot about me." She joked.

"Naw, that'd be impossible. You're way too pretty." I flirted gently.

"You really think so?"

"Absolutely. I'm Selena, and just going to guess based on your keychain... you must be Hayley?"

"Yep. Haha we have a winner. Selena, pick a prize behind either door 1, 2, or 3! What will she choose folks." She held upan invisible microphone to my mouth.

"Well Hayley, I'm going to have to go with... Door number 2!"

"Selena, let's see what you've won." She clapped her hands around her face. "It's the door, you have to open it!" She yelled through her fingers.

I pried the first hand off, and she let me gently ease the second one away. As I did, she popped her face out and kissed me.

I reacted to the kiss as though it was the hundred and first time, not the first. It felt so comfortable, so natural to be kissing her. When she finally pulled away to breathe she went bright red and looked out thewindow.

"Hayley, that was... amazing. I know we barely know each other, but I've liked you from the moment I saw you walk out on stage." I reached out and placed my hand on hers. She opened her palm, letting my hand lay flat on hers for a moment.

"They're perfect."She announced softly.

"For what?" I asked her. In response, she moved her hand apart so that my fingers fell between hers. She kissed the top of my hand.

"This." She siged contentedly.

By the time we got to an open coffee shop, which was about a half an hour drive from the show, I'd learned three very important things about Hayley.

First thing I learned: Her full name. Hayley Nichole Williams. Future rock goddess. The second thing I learned: She had no home. Not really. She lived in the studio that the brothers in her band had built in their attic. But that was just where she laid her head at night. The third: I was her first kiss and, in her mind, I would be the last.

"Selena, I have a question." She squeezed my hand. "I know this is sudden, and that you barely know me, but I've never felt this way about another person. Move here, let's get a place in the city. I promise you, everything will be ok. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

I looked her over. This tough as nails punk rock girl, just softened up for me. If she could show me that side, maybe I could let her in. Take a chance on her. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"You mean that? You really mean that?" she brightened up.

"Yeah, I do. But there's a catch. You have to go on 16 dates with me first. And on these16 dates, you have to answer any question I ask. Deal?" she grinned.

"Deal. But does this count as date 1?" I nodded. "Well then, ask away."

"Where are your parents? And how old are you?" I questioned.

"I'm 19, and my parents have been gone for about 6 years now. My mom and poppa hated the idea of me dedicating or "wasting" my time on music. They would yell at me, call me a loser, say I was going to end up living on their couch and getting him beer all day. Finally one day, they got in a huge fight. They split up, and instead of going through court decided to sell the house and split the money. A few days after my house wenton the market, I woke up with a letter taped to the empty fridge that my backpack, along with everything I'd worked to pay for inside, were on the curb and they were gone. That was the last I heard from or saw them. Right after that I moved in with the Farro's."

"Hayley, are you ok?" I grabbed her hand

"I am when I'm with you." She said, and leaned in and kissed me again.


	2. Waking Up for the First Time

Waking up beside Hayley that first morning was just how everything else in our relationship thus far had been. Familiar, comfortable and more like the hundredth time than the first. We'd slept together for the first time, literally just slept, and she just curled up in my arms as though it was routine. When I propped myself up on my elbow to look at her, she opened one eye and giggled. I leaned down and kissed her.

"Morning beautiful." I whispered against her lips. She blushed. "What? Has no one ever mentioned how beautiful you are?"

"No actually. You're the first one. Unless the pigs I pass by at the bar on the way home some nights counts. But they don't use the word beautiful. I've heard Grade A piece of meat a couple times though." She stuck her tongue out and licked the tip of my nose. Normally I would have flipped out, I mean come on... that's gross, but she made it cute. The way she bit her lip after, trying to read my face and see if she went too far. I smiled, letting her know it was ok.

"You're full of surprises Hayley, hard to read." I snuggled down, resting my head on her collarbone. She kissed the top of my head.

"Maybe that's the way I like it. I love keeping you guessing. Speaking of which, can I ask you a couple questions?" I nodded not even bothering to lift my head up. It was so comfortable laying there. "Same ones you asked me. How old you are, and what about your parents? You hardly look old enough to be jet setting."

"I'm 16. My parents died, about four months ago and left everything to me. My dad ran a pretty successful restaurant with his cousin and he left me his half. I sold it to the cousin, and took that money to myself. My parent's estate will pay the mortgage on that house until I'm 18 and can sell it. But, I miss my dad everyday and my mom... I'm so glad I found you. I've been so lonely lately. Everyone can see it. That's why I'm staying at my cousin Charlie's place."

"Charlotte? She's sweet shit man. She was in my English class in eleventh grade, I had to take tenth grade English twice, and she was smart. Always had an answer."

"You know Charlie? She made me creep you at a concert, when she knew you the whole time? I'm so going to kill her." Hayley was laughing. "I'm glad you think this is so funny. I looked like a total stalker coming backstage and asking you out before I knew your name."

"And guess what?" I looked at her. "You're laying in bed with me, after a great night. Maybe I asked her about you first." She smirked playfully.

"What do you mean? That's impossible. I asked her about you when I saw you in the malt shop on mainstreet."

"There's a picture of you on her fridge. I've always thought you were cute. I saw you at the malt shop and texted Charlotte to bring you to the show. I wanted to meet you but I didn't want to seem creepy and walk up to you guys while you were eating. Therefore I asked about you first. Not to mention I'm older so I win." She stuck her tongue out.

"Yes hun, sticking out your tongue at me certainly won you the who's older argument. Not to mention... If you're going to play that card I'll just play the innocent underage role." I crawled out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked me trying to pull me back to bed.

"Coffee, of course. Where else would I be going first thing I wake up?" I stopped trying to get up.

"First thing I do usually is pee. You know, the morning save up." She teased. Then you could see an idea flash across her face. "Or shower. We could always take a shower." She looked hopefully at me.

"It's a possibility, after a few more dates anyways. I don't want to rush into anything. I think that we can be something and I don't want to ruin it by having sex right away." I got up and started making coffee.

"I guess. Not to mention I'm such a virgin." She blushed. She may have been, but I wasn't. In the four months since my parents died, I'd screwed anyone and everyone who asked. I was trying to fill the void. But, in the four months since their death, Hayley had made me feel the least alone. She seemed to be the only one who could do that, not even Demi, my best friend had been able to.

"That's a good thing you know. Being a virgin I mean. I wish I would've stayed one. Wanna know something else too? It's not as great as everyone makes it sound. Except... I'll try to make it so for you."

Hayley smiled, and she cuddled back up under the covers. "I don't want to get up. I'm scared if I do this will all be over. The past twelve hours have been surreal and I just wanna keep reliving them dude."

"But if you do that we'll never make it to date sixteen. Or date four. I swear to god you don't want to miss date four."

"What's date four? I'm curious now. Can we skip the next two dates and go to the fourth?" She sat up.

"Nope, but wear comfortable clothes for the second date when I pick you up tonight at eight."


	3. White Powder Past

She practically ran to the car after introducing me to her "brothers", as she called them. The Farro's were a nice family and, judging by the way all the pictures on the mantel were set up, Hayley was all but a blood member. They had her graduation picture there, beside Josh's and by Zac's school photo. It was like she was the middle child and sister they always needed. I didn't understand why she didn't call this place home. These people loved her. Completely. Mr. Farro even accidently told me to take care of his daughter if I wasn't bringing her home. Josh and Zac both gave me the 411 on breaking Hayley's heart. Do it and die, not to mention become the subject of the hottest punk band in town's next demo tape, and not in a good way. Zac picked me up and sized me up.

"No need to even worry Josh. Hayley could kick her ass." Josh laughed.

"Doesn't mean I won't let her biggest brother loose." I looked at him.

"What, there's a bigger Farro?" I asked nervous.

"No man, Jeremy, our bassist. She's the apple of his eye. His baby sister. More than Josh even, and that's really hard to beat. Josh I think loves Hayley more than me." Zac informed me as he put me down.

"I do not you dolt. Just... please don't hurt her. She's had enough of that. We're all pretty protective of her. She's our little sister, and if you hurt her, I'll find a legal way to hurt you back. Not to mention... Hayley'll write an album of music that will rip your heart out every time you hear it."

"And you will hear it. Hayley's got this weird... charm?" Zac started out sounding tough and wound up looking like the younger brother he was.

"Doesn't matter. That's Hayley's business to tell her when she's ready to. Anyways Selena, have a fun date. If you don't bring her home tonight, can you at least have her call me this time? It scared me last night when I couldn't find her. Jeremy too, he was ready to plan her funeral and send out a search party. He's really intense. He asked her to move in once, but she wouldn't do it... she likes freedom." Josh clapped my shoulder as though he was giving me some grade A advice. I turned and headed out to the entryway to meet Hayley.

It'd only been a total of five hours since we'd seen each other but when I met her at the door, she beamed at me like she hadn't seen me in days. Like I made her so happy she couldn't contain her smile.

"You ready dude?" She asked me. "Unless you really wanna have a Polaroid photoshoot. Cause that's where Mrs. Farro's going. I really don't know how bad you want to be on the mantel."

"No, please let's go. I look terrible." I said, motioning to my choice of worn jeans and a sweatshirt.

"Zac, go stall mom." Josh told his little brother. Given this mission Zac popped up off the couch. "Have fun you two." Hayley gave Josh a hug before we left. Then she ran to the car.

"Hey, slow down. You'd think we were fleeing a pack of ravenous coyotes." I laughed as she climbed in the car and urged me to hurry.

"Mrs. Farro with a camera is worse. Trust me. If we ever become famous... She's got pure gold with those pictures. Not even joking. I could never live in my own skin if one of them got out somehow."

"What one? Are you gonna show me?" I teased her.

"Never ever, you'll never see that picture Selena Gomez. It's from a time I'd rather forget about." She looked out of the window.

"You promised to answer all my questions. Tell me about that time." I asked her, not so much trying to force her as to let her know I was there for her.

"It's of me and Josh, when we went to rehab together. We both got hooked on coke. Discovered it one night when we were out at the city's punk scene. We got really strung out the day we were being admitted, like I'm talking we should have been dead, and his mom took a picture of us for when we came out. She said we would be able to see how much we'd destroyed ourselves. She was right, we ruined ourselves. Zac... It killed him that we both did it. He found out about me first. When he went to Josh for help, Josh admitted to Zac he was hooked too. Zac freaked on us upstairs. Asked if we had any idea how hurt he was. He's the baby, we couldn't let him down. Besides, it had gotten to the point where it wasn't fun anymore. You know?" she wiped away a few tears.

"So you guys cleaned up for Zac? Or were you guys already going to?" I was gripping the steering wheel. Not cocaine, not my girl.

"No, we were already going to. But, thanks to Zac we had some extra motivation. The Farro's, they were pretty upset with us. I was sure that I was gone. I even told them if they wanted I'd leave. But they told me they would never turn their daughter out on the streets and abandon her with an addiction. They instantly put me and Josh in a rehab center in California. That was when me and him pounded out some of the best songs we've ever written. After that... We came home and played some home shows. Jeremy was pretty nervous about venturing back into the city scene but once we started playing there and got popular me and Josh got our high off the performance. We've never looked back. I don't miss it at all. I've got someone much better." She took my hand.

"I'm glad. Never again, ok? You're better than that. We're here by the way." She got out and looked at the sign.

"Skating? I... don't know how." She blushed.

That made me smile. "I do, I'll show you no worries. Just trust me." I extended my hand and she slid hers into it. To refer back to what she said... Perfect.


	4. The Second Date

Hayley was determined to show me that she could do anything on her own. She laced up her skates and looked at me.

"It can't be any different than rollerblading can it?" All I did was shrug.

"Try it and find out. If it isn't you'll have no problem. If it is... I'll be right behind you." She looked at the ice nervously. I jumped on the ice and took her hand. "Trust me." I repeated the words yet again. She smiled and put her right skate onto the ice. When she had handle on how the ice felt under the skate, she put her left one on. Instantly she fell on her ass. I couldn't help but to laugh. She pouted, genuinely upset.

"You let me fall. You let go of my hand." She tried getting up on her own. She fell again. "This is stupid. Let's just go get burgers or something. Please." I extended my hand.

"No, I let you fall for a reason. You had to experience it so that you would want badly enough not to fall again that you'd try hard." She took my hands. I skated backwards, showing her things like how you push out on the sides to go forward and how to stop. Within the hour she'd let go of my hands and was slowly, very slowly, skating on her own.

"I'm doing it!" she said proudly, grin spread wide. Then she fell. And once again hated skating. By this point though it was almost time for them to close up shop anyways. I held her hands and skated her back to the benches, and took her skates off for her. When I took off each one she moved her ankles around and winced. I cradled them in my hands, and kissed up each one. She closed her eyes, enjoying it. When I finished that, I slid her sneakers on for her and laced them up. Then I took off my skates and slid into my skate shoes. We left the rink and got back in my car.

"Where to sweetie?" I asked her. Since my idea of ice skating had failed horribly, I decided to let her pick the end of the date.

"I dunno, it doesn't matter really. I'm down for anything. Just no more sports kay? I may have alot of energy but not alot of coordination. I suck at athletic stuff." She laughed.

"Well we could always go back to my place... I'd love to get in a few kisses from you." I suggested.

"Let's go back to my place. I'll call the boys, band chill session at Jeremy's, and you can spend the night and have Sunday breakfast with us." She got excited.

"You sure the Farro's won't mind? I mean... I am a stranger to them." I bit my lip.

"Dude, trust me. They're just happy I'm finally happy with someone. Boys have been trying to date me for years, but you're the only person I've ever gone out with. Josh and Zac were starting to think I was asexual. Jeremy was accused of being my "man" and laughed it off. I mean you're the only one. They'll be waiting with the Polaroid when we get there." God she was cute when she was trying to express her feelings and got nervous.

"Alright, but let's swing by my house first. Let's do the pictures for her. I have to change." I pulled out into the road.

"Mrs. Farro is going to love you. No one ever voluntarily poses for her. Even the band photos she had to sneak into the rehearsal space at Jeremy's to get a few."

"Well, there's more to the detour then just me changing. Like I said, I have to get in a few kisses with you." I pulled into my parking lot.

When we got inside I threw my keys on the counter and Hayley called Josh up and let him in on the plan. That we'd be home in an hour and he had better get the guys together and get Jeremy to pick up a few bottles of booze.

She hung up the phone and wandered into my room. I was in the process of picking a t-shirt, and of course wasn't wearing one.

She ran her hands down my side, making me shiver. It was weird, someone actually paying my body attention. Everyone else just wanted the one thing they got. "You know, you making me wait for this is really agonizing. You're so gorgeous. So perfect." She kissed the back of my neck and ran her middle finger down my spine to the small of my back. I couldn't help but moan.

"No, Hayles. Not yet. I want it to be special. I want it to be better than a quickie on the way out. You're worth so much more than that. Ok?" she pulled away. I grabbed a shirt out of the drawer and pulled it on. Hayley smiled and stole one that meshed really well.

When we got on the highway Hayley pulled out her phone and started a really long message.

"Who are you texting there mighty thumbs?" she shrugged.

As she tucked her phone away mine vibrated. I pulled it out and handed it to her. "Read it to me please. You're gunna have to take over Demi's job." She blushed.

"I can't. You can wait til we get home." She put it down.

"Nope. Hayley, just do it. Or I swear I'll stop this car." She looked out the window.

"Stop it then, see if I care. I can't read it out loud, cause if I could I'd have just said it." She grumbled.

I signalled and pulled onto the shoulder of the road. I picked up my phone, and saw the message from her. As I read it, a tear brimmed in my eye. I bit it back though.

_Selena, _

_I can't believe it's only been two days. These two days have been the best of my life, and I mean that. I've memorised every emotion in your eyes, what the fluctuations in your voice mean, and every tear behind your smile. You're more like me than I could've ever imagined. But so different it amazes me. Selena, your every move astounds me, and every sway of your hips turns me on. Thank you for being my diamond in the rough. Love, Hayley_

She looked at me, and smiled the soft smile she reserved only for the quiet moments we spent alone. She pulled my chin up to her level, and kissed me. This kiss was the best kiss of our relationship. There was so much love, so much urgency, and so much tenderness behind it, that I got completely wrapped up in her. There were moments where she was the only one kissing, because I was so lost in her that I couldn't even remember to kiss her. After what could've been twenty minutes, we pulled apart. She smiled as she leaned against the window to catch her breath.

She checked her phone as I pulled back onto the highway. "Shit. Josh is worried, apparently that moment lasted longer than I thought." I brought up the speed.

"Tell him we had to stop for gas. That you're sorry and we're on our way." She called him.

"Yeah. We were low on gas. On our way. Be there in...fifteen minutes. Love ya Joshie. Bye." She grabbed my hand. "Tonight is going to kick ass." She grinned and kissed me quickly.

_**HEY GUYS. THINKING ABOUT MAYBE TURNING IT INTO AN M STORY, FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. THOUGHTS? SUGGESTIONS? LIQUOR YOU THINK THESE GUYS MIGHT INDULGE IN? **_


	5. The First

Hayley suggested we walk in the door holding hands. She knew Mrs. Farro would have the camera ready. Sure enough we walked in the door kissing and FLASH.

"Mrs. Farro! Stop with the impromptu photoshoot. Sel said she would take pictures for you. She even changed her clothes for them. Just go easy on her okay? She's never been through a Farro photosession." Mrs. Farro beamed.

"No one ever takes pictures for me. You really mean you'll sit with Hayley and pose?" she asked me.

"Well... I don't know about posing. But we'll chill here for a bit, and you can snap them while we go about?" Hayley cut in. "Won't they be better? More of a natural look." Mrs. Farro nodded.

"You always were a smart girl. Pity some of it didn't rub off on Zachary." She looked at her youngest son. He sighed loudly.

"Mom, I am smart. But who needs school to be a famous drummer? Not me. So why put all the effort there? I should be focussed on rocking." Hayley laughed. So did I if you want to get technical. Here was this 17 year old kid acting like he knew he was the next big thing. Josh just rolled his eyes and punched Zac playfully in the gut.

"You need to because your mother said so. I did it, Hayley did it, and Jeremy did it god knows how long ago. New rule, all band members must either have a diploma or a B average. At the very least." Mrs. Farro looked at him from behind Zac and thanked him silently. "I mean it too Zac. You're an amazing drummer but you need to get your grades up. I won't let Paramore be the reason you fail high school."

Hayley had pulled me down on the couch and wrapped her arms around me. She was so warm. I looked in her eyes, and she stared back down at me. "Hey, what's wrong?" she whispered to me. I shook my head.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. This is all about you, ok? Your family. That's why I'm here. For you and your family." I tried reassuring her. But she wouldn't be brushed off that easily.

"Come with me. Mrs. Farro, we'll be right back for you to take pictures. I just need to talk to Selena." Mrs. Farro nodded. Hayley took me by the hand and led me up two floors to her attic room. We flopped down on the folded up futon and she looked at me.

"Sel, what's wrong? I told you, I know your emotions by your eyes. You can't tell me nothing is wrong, because your eyes are screaming that something is." She laid me down so my head was resting on her lap.

"It's really nothing. Just... I don't have a family to bring you to meet. Or a mom to yell at me for failing school. Just nothing really. Stuff I always have to fight myself about." She kissed my forehead.

"Selena, you do have a family. You've got me. And I guarantee you the guys already love you. Jeremy might be a little harsh at first but... He's a great guy. He'll love you too. And the Farro's adore you. Mr. Farro told me himself that he's in love with you. He thinks you're amazing for putting this smile on my face. If you want, I could convince Mrs. Farro to yell at you. Haha." I sat up.

"Thank you." That was all I could manage before the tears came. She held me tight. I cried, and shook. I wanted her to let me go, I pushed away but she wouldn't let go. I wanted to run. Like I always did. I wanted to get out before I got attached, before my heart could shatter even more. I was tired of losing people I loved and I didn't want to love Hayley, so I wouldn't have to hurt again. I screamed into her chest, where she had me pinned.

"Go for it. Punch me, kick me, do what you need to to let it out. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not letting you go until you're done. You think I can't handle that but guess what? I can. Zac's the same way. I won't let you get hurt like this ever again. I'll protect you Selena, I promise." She spoke low, in my ear. Unfortunately as she was saying it, I was still fighting her embrace. My elbow swung and connected with her jaw. "Feel better?" she asked. She was still smiling, even though I'd just hit her.

I'd instantly stopped fighting her when I hit her. "Hayley, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." She was still smiling.

"Don't worry babe. You didn't even hit that hard. Not to mention I knew once you connected you would stop. Sometimes that's all you need. Don't worry. Let's get you cleaned up and ready to go back downstairs. Ok?" I nodded and we went to her bathroom and cleaned my face and put my make up back to normal. While we were in there I noticed a bruise forming on her jaw.

"Hayley, it's bruising. Oh my god. I did that to you. How can I even show my face downstairs. They're all going to know I hit you. Fuck." She grabbed my hand.

"I'll tell them I wiped when we were skating. It isn't a total lie. I told you not to worry." She kissed my hand. Then she stood up I brushed my thumb over her jaw. She winced, but didn't pull away. I kissed it gently. She completely melted. Like, her knees buckled.

"You like that huh?" I smiled against her jaw. I kissed it again. She managed to keep her knees from buckling, but she whimpered. I kissed it a third time. This time her hands closed around my wrists. In her small "bathroom" she only had to step forwards once to back me against the wall.

"You've tortured me for way too long. It's happening now. I mean it." She whispered aggressively in my ear.

I flipped us around so I was in control. I undid her jeans, and then carried her out to her bed. She went pull her jeans down and I stopped her.

"I told you, tonight is all about you. I'm going to worship you and your body for the next fifteen minutes. And tonight, I'll do it again, for longer." I began to pull her jeans down slowly. About an inch at a time. Every time I pulled them down a little, I showered her legs with kisses. She was whimpering again, putty in my hands. I finally removed her pants, and began showering her toes with kisses. Then I moved back up repeating the process with her underwear, which were soaked. Her breath was labored, and when I looked in her eyes there was a fire as bright as her flaming red hair. I pulled my face up to hers and kissed her jaw. At the same time I ran my finger on her soaking heat. She moaned, and I swallowed it with a kiss. "Shhh, baby. You don't want to get caught do you?"

"Selena, please. Just do it." She begged.

"Ok, but you have to be quiet. If you need to scratch my neck or back to keep from moaning out loud, do it. I don't want to get caught. Promise?" She nodded.

I kissed down her stomach, against her waist and finally I kissed her sweet virgin core. I looked up and saw her biting her lip. I slid my tongue out and took my first taste of Hayley. She was so sweet, so amazing. Her hands flew to my shoulders and gripped, pulling me in closer. As my tongue darted across her clit, she began whimpering. I pushed my tongue into her, feeling how tight she was. I pushed a finger in, and looked up at her. She was still enjoying it. I pumped it in and out a few times, then added a second finger. She hissed in pain, and I resumed my tongue's worshipping of her swollen clit. The pain left her face and I slowly began to pump my fingers in. I curled them, making sure to hit her g-spot.

"Fuck, do that again." She whispered.

I obeyed, hitting her g-spot again and again. Her nails began to dig into my back. I could feel her tightening around my fingers. I began working my tongue faster, and she scratched up my back, and moaned my name as she came.

I wiped my face off on a towel, and let my hair down to hide the scratch marks. Hayley just laid on the bed catching her breath. I laid down beside her, and toyed with her clit for a couple more minutes, loving the look on her face as she tried to keep from crying out. Finally Mrs. Farro knocked on the door.

"You girls ok? You've been gone for quite a while." Hayley snapped up.

"Yeah, we'll be right down. Selena's just fixing her hair." We held our breath until we heard her descend the stairs. Hayley jumped into her jeans and fixed her hair. We gave each other a once over. Hayley's face was beet red, except where her bruise was. Other than that we were good. She took my hand and led me back down to the living room.

Josh started laughing instantly when we entered the living room. "What the hell happened to your face there bruiser?"

"What? Oh that, uh I wiped out when Sel took me skating. No big." I blushed. The bruise really was huge. I felt terrible.

"Well, we can't very well take pictures like that." Mr. Farro pointed out.

"Good, let's bounce to Jere's then." Zac called from the kitchen.

"Sounds good, let's go little bro! Your giving me a piggyback there." Hayley called into the kitchen. Zac came out of the kitchen with a bag of dry cereal. "Oh my god, Jere's got food. We'll eat there. OK? Let's go." I knew why she was so anxious. Josh had a little grin on his face. He totally knew what we'd just done. Zac put the cereal back and we left.


	6. Please Jeremy? Truth or Dare

Jeremy's was only a fifteen minute walk from Hayley's. When we got out of earshot of their open living room window, Josh finally spoke up.

"So Hayley, finally deflowered eh? How was it?" he broke out into laughter. She tackled him into the grass. Zac shook his head.

"This is why I always carry the joints and pipe. Those two can't friggen stay on their feet for ten minutes." He laughed and pulled out a joint. "You toke?" I nodded. It wasn't a lie either. I smoked pot quite a bit actually. He lit up the joint and passed it to me. I took a pull from it. Within seconds, Josh and Hayley were on their feet and caught up. I passed the joint to her and we continued walking. When we got to Jeremy's he greeted Hayley first. Picking her up and spinning her around. She laughed and kissed his cheek.

"You disappeared last night. You can't do that and not tell me. Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?" he asked her. She shook her head as he put her down.

"I'm sorry Jere bear. This is Selena. She's my girl. The one I've been texting you about." Jeremy looked me once over, scratching his beard.

"Why didn't you get her to call me? Or Josh?" he asked. He had a surprisingly mellow voice for his appearance.

"She's 19 years old. I didn't know she was supposed to. I'm sorry." Hayley wrapped her arm around my waist.

"Jeremy, it's my fault. Come on, let's go inside and get our drink on." Josh, Zac and I headed in. Hayley and Jeremy stayed outside. I could hear them talking as I put my sweater on the rack. "Jeremy, come on. Selena's great. Honestly, just give her a chance."

"Hayley, she's young. I just… Don't want someone else who's going to leave you alone again." His voice was becoming louder.

"She's not going to. She's like me, even more alone. I've got you guys if this fails, she's going back to Texas to live alone if it does. Please Jere, trust her. For me."

"Ok. Because you asked me to, I will. But if you get hurt again Hayley… I'm not going to be happy."

"I won't. Thank you. This means the world to me that you're going to try."

"So what's so fantastic about her?"

"Everything." Then I heard footsteps. I hurried to catch up with the boys.

Whiskey was the drink of choice. I never was a huge drinker, but if these guys were, so would I. I took a shot with them, and it burned my throat all the way down. Then it hit my stomach, and I thought I was going to die. A few shots in however, the burning stopped and I began to feel good. Dizzy, and happy. Hayley was sitting in my lap, and every time she took a shot she kissed me. We went through a 40 oz the first hour we were there, that was a lot of kisses.

Jeremy brought out a bong after the first hour. As we all passed it around, I began to take notice of how fucked up Hayley was becoming. I voiced my concern to Zac

"She always does, it makes her forget."

"TRUTH OR DARE TIME!" Hayley popped up from her cross legged position and started by asking me. "Sel, truth or dare?"

"Truth." She grinned mischievously

"When's the last time you got laid?" I blushed deep red and Josh fell off the couch laughing.

"Uh, about two hours ago, when I popped your cherry." God, alcohol made me own up to things a lot easier than I would've sober.

"Your turn." She smiled.

"Josh, truth or dare?" Jeremy grinned this time.

"Truth"

"What's your best kept secret from everyone in this room?"

"Uh…well uh, I… I've always had a crush on Hayley. But I'm really glad she's with someone as awesome as you." It was his turn to blush and mine to laugh.

The game went on for hours. It was 3 in the morning before things wrapped up. In that time, everyone had kissed almost everyone. With the exception of Josh and Zac, obviously. Kissing Jeremy was weird, cause he had a beard, but Hayley and I had to be broken apart. Josh was reluctant to break us apart, but Jeremy had seen enough. Zac had gone streaking, Jeremy took a shot of hot sauce, and Hayley'd had to chug whiskey til she puked. I had been the one chosen to flash everyone. Hayley wasn't a fan of that dare. Besides Josh's confession, everyone had found out Zac had a gay phase, and Jeremy was still a virgin. Hayley owned up to being the one who dented the principal's car in middle school and I told them all about the time I'd kissed a teacher (it was technically a student teacher and he was in the twelfth grade, but I still got in a world of shit). We smoked one last joint and everyone bid goodbye to Jeremy. He hugged Hayley and kissed her on the cheek.

"Take care ok? I love you Hayleyball." She smiled and playfully punched him in the chest.

"Love ya too Jere bear." She grabbed my hand and we headed home.

_**SORRY THIS ONE'S SHORTER. I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO PUT ANYMORE THAN THIS EVENT IN SO THAT EVERYONE COULD GET A SENSE OF JEREMY'S PROTECTIVENESS TOWARDS HAYLEY. NEXT ONE WILL BE LONGER. PROMISE.**_


	7. I won't lose someone else I can't

Waking up that morning beside her again was weird. I was used to the lovey dovey morning after bullshit you get after a night with someone, but two nights was freaking me out. I laid there for about an hour before she finally turned over in bed and snuggled up to me. When she did that... I panicked. I jumped up out of bed and she sat straight up.

"Baby, what's wrong?" she asked me. I shook my head.

"Hayley... I can't. I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'm sorry." I ran out to my car. As I fumbled in my pockets for my keys, I heard footsteps that stopped promptly on the other side of my car. I looked up to see Jeremy.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "Do you need to talk? I promised Hayley that I would make every effort I could last night, but now I know you a little better... I want to. Let's go for a drive? I brought a few joints with me."

I'll never know why I got in the car. Or why I let Jeremy into my head that day, but I'm really glad I did.

"Jeremy, will you drive? I don't think I can if I'm going to tell you things. I might not hold it together." he reached for my keys.

Jeremy took me back to his house, and we sat in his basement getting high for about 45 minutes before he breached the subject again.

"So what's wrong? You looked like you were running away."

"I was Jeremy. I love her, but I don't do relationships. I'm terrified of losing someone else."

He looked at me, "Last night... Hayley said you were more alone than her. What did she mean?"

"My... my parents were killed. They were walking home from a movie and someone shot my mom for her purse. My dad... He chased the guy down and fought with him. He got shot too." I wiped my tears away as Jeremy pulled me into a hug. "I honestly have had no one since then. I'm used to that. Getting close to Hayley terrifies me Jere."

"Were you leaving? When I stopped you?" I nodded. "Hey girl, Hayley isn't going anywhere. I can promise that. She's the same way babe, she needs you as much as you need her. Give her a chance to prove that. Ok?"

I sat up. "Sure. I can try. But if I get hurt again I don't know if I can handle it."

"I'll be right here to catch you. I promise." He helped me up and drove us back to the Farro's. He knocked and led me in.

"Hey guys, I found something you might be missing. I hope you don't mind me stopping by to drop it off." He called down to the basement.

Hayley came up the stairs red eyed and stoned. You could tell she'd been crying. I took her hands.

"I'm so sorry. I panicked. But Jeremy helped me. I love you, and I got scared of losing yet another person I loved. I can't handle anymore of that. Please, Hayley, give me another chance." She lifted my chin.

"Baby, you're still on the first one." And she kissed me.

**_sorry this one is so short. i really hate combining events and I had to get something out to you cats right?_**


	8. Things Are Looking Up, Finally

The weeks following my breakdown were smooth. Hayley and I decided that her and I would take things slower than we had planned in that first night, and it was working for us. We did move out of the Farro's place, but instead of moving to the city like we thought we would we moved in to Jeremy's basement. Hayley went home every Tuesday night, because the Farro's had family game night planned. It was nice for me and Jere to hang out. Band practice was still in the basement twice a week minimum, depending on Zac and his homework and everyone else's jobs. Hayley was a cashier at the local grocery store. Josh and Jeremy worked for a construction company in the city. I was spending all my free time with Charlie. She was so excited to be the reason me and Hayley met.

Hayley and I hadn't slept together since the first time, and she wasn't shy about letting me know how unhappy this was making her. Today was probably the worst day since I'd left. It was our first real fight. It almost ruined both of us.

"I've been waiting for you to be ready again for almost a month Sel, is it ever gonna happen?" she sighed. I knew she meant it as a joke, but for some reason I wanted to fight. Things had been getting too predictable, I needed something new. I wanted there to be somewhat of a change in our textbook lifestyle. It had begun to make me nervous.

"If you don't wanna wait go! Find someone who's a little more your pace. I'm sorry Hayley but I am not ready to have sex yet. We went too fast, and I thought we had both agreed to slow it down. Like fuck sakes. You never got it last time when I ran? I can't do that yet. I just... I can't."

"Yeah, just turn it all on me Selena. My parents fucked off on me too remember? I've lost people I loved more than once."

"My parents didn't just leave Hayley, they were murdered. Five months ago tomorrow. They killed my mother first, for her purse. My father, blind with rage took off after the killer. My father was killed trying to avenge her." my voice was barely a whisper.

"I, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. Oh, shit. Baby, how... How do you know the details?"

"I was there. I shouldn't have been. I was out with Troy, my boyfriend at the time. I'd told my parents we were going to watch a movie with my girlfriends and instead Troy and I were out at dance clubs with fake ids and ecstasy tablets. But yeah, we came out of the club and I saw my parents, then I saw the guy shoot my mom, and then my dad chase after him. Then I saw him pull the trigger on the last thing I had left." I stopped for a minute to recoop. "Troy took me home that night, and I lost my virginity. I thought he was gunna be my everything. When I woke up he was gone, and later that day he dumped me."

Hayley had gotten up and was over by the mirror. "Is that why you are so scared to be intimate with me? All because that goof screwed up the best he ever had?" she whispered to me.

"Hayley... It's more than that. I have never had sex with the same person more than once. The idea of hurting you the way Troy hurt me terrifies me. I thought and believed he was gunna be there for me the way you know I will for you. But I want to be steady here and stable. I promise, give me one more week and I'll be ready." she kissed me softly.

"Baby, as long as you need. I'm sorry I pushed you." she laid down on the bed and reached for her pipe. As she reached across the bed and her shirt rode up I felt a surge of insane need for her. Her creamy skin exposed to me made me want her more then I ever have. She sat back down and her shirt fell back down. I shook my head, trying to get those thoughts in check. I couldn't cave now, not after that, not after telling her about Troy. If I did it would ruin everything. She passed me the pipe. I started calming down as I exhaled the smoke. I saw the problems fade to nothing in it. Her and I could be ok together in this basement forever.

"Baby... I have to talk to you. Paramore... it's taking off. We got offered a recording session, with Fueled by Ramen. That's so huge baby, but we'd need to go away for a few weeks. Josh is trying to talk down the Farro's to let Zac ditch school for a couple weeks. This could be our big break and if it is... I want you to be there every step of the way. After all my favorite song on our tracklist is about you. You're my muse lately baby." she rambled out her sentence.

I took a huge haul on the pipe. I coughed it out and put it down. "Of course babe, I want you guys to make it. You're everything to me and if this is what will make you happy then by all means we'll go away. How did it happen?" I asked, smiling inside.

"Apparently someone dropped off a demo with one of their artists. I wish I knew who, because thanks to them my dreams are finally coming true." she looked at me. She caught my grin. "It was you? How... Why? Thank you so much." she kissed me harder than ever. As she straddled me, I couldn't control myself anymore. I ground my hips upwards. She moaned and looked at me helplessly. I nodded.

It was on.


	9. My Heart

We managed to get the Farro's to let Zac out of school for a month as long as he and I worked on our school together and I made sure he got his done. So we loaded up Jeremy's truck and the two cars and headed out. We had planned to take the 15 hour drive to New York. It was a long drive but as we headed out everyone was too excited to care. The prospect of recording the next afternoon was fueling every one of us. When we pulled into the hotel parking lot a painstaking 20 hours later thanks to a flat on Josh's car, everyone was just ready for bed. We all divided and headed to our rooms. The day was just beginning for the rest of the world but we needed the few hours between 6 in the morning and noon to be ready for the day.

Hayley was the last one out of bed as usual. We were due to be at the studio at 1 and she rolled out of bed at 1230. Josh and Zac jumped into motion following her around and cutting things out of her morning routine so as to not be late. When we loaded into the car she finally had time to breath.

"Good morning Sel. I'm sorry I didn't get to snuggle you this morning but I was exhausted." I grabbed her hand after shifting into drive.

"No worries darling. This is your time. I hope you know I am so proud of you. You had this dream and you kept ahold of it. You are going to be amazing." She squeezed my hand and smiled.

Being the only one who isn't in the band gets pretty boring when recording takes up about 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. A week in and I was close with all the techs and producers, and was really, REALLY good at remembering everyone's lunch orders. I figured it was the least I could do, seeing as I was in the way most of the time anyways. Plus, then I could get out of that stuffy little room every once in a while. I was beginning to miss the guys and Hayley though. They were either recording or in meetings all the time.

Two weeks into recording Hayley started to notice this.

"Babe, I know you miss us, I do too. But in two weeks this part will all be over." she whispered into my ear, as we laid in bed.

"Yeah, and then the tours and publicity appearances, then what happens to me? There'll be girls and guys everywhere who all want to be the next one in your bed. And that's my spot. I'm scared to be forgotten in the whirlwind. That one day I'll wake up and you'll be in a magazine with some other girl. Hayley... I love you and I love being with you but I don't wanna be scared." she pulled me in tight.

"That'll never happen. I promise baby girl. You're MY limelight, even if you think I'm everyone else's. You're the only girl I see. Not a single person on this planet could ever compete with you. Got it?" I nodded.

I woke up somewhere around 4 am and went to the bathroom. On my way back I found Hayley's discman with the latest demo. At this point I'd given up going to the studio. On it was a dedication to me. So I turned it on and listened to it.

**_I am finding out that maybe I was wrong _**  
**_That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone_**  
**_Stay with me, this is what I need, please?_**

**_Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you_**  
**_ We could sing our own but what would it be without you?_**

**_I am nothing now and it's been so long _**  
**_Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope_**  
**_This time I will be listening._**

**_Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you_**  
**_ We could sing our own but what would it be without you?_**

**_This heart, it beats, beats for only you_**  
**_ This heart, it beats, beats for only you_**  
**_This heart, it beats, beats for only you_**  
**_ My heart is yours_**  
**_This heart, it beats, beats for only you _**  
**_My heart is yours (My heart, it beats for you)_**  
**_This heart, it beats, beats for only you_**  
**_ (It beats, beats for only you. My heart is yours) _**  
**_My heart, my heart is yours _**  
**_(Please don't go now, Please don't fade away) _**

**_My heart, my heart is yours _**  
**_(Please don't go now, Please don't fade away)_**  
**_ My heart is yours My heart is yours_**  
**_ (Please don't go now, Please don't fade away) My heart is yours_**  
**_ My heart is..._**


	10. Just An Author Moment

To whomever I C No Evil is I thank you for giving me something to write for. I was very nice to hear your comments, you should sign in next time so we can message. 


	11. What goes up must come down!

When we got home Hayley slept for like three days. The gang was set to release their first album in three months and the month of recording had killed all of them. Now they would have to make trips into town, use a studio there and record all the background and pickups. They were all fuelled on it but it was beginning to take tolls on everyone.

Zac quit school. He figured why keep going he finally made it. That put a huge rift in the Farro family. The rents weren't too supportive of that decision. In their opinion money was no substitute for education. I can see the merit in that, I mean I had money but I still felt the need to be educated.

Josh was wavering, everyone was watching him and Hayley for indications of whether or not they were getting coke again. Hayley I knew for a fact wasn't but Josh wasn't his usual self. Pressure could kill sobriety. I was worried about him.

Jeremy's first relationship was taking a hit, she had issues with touring. He wasn't sure if she would stick around for him. I hoped so, he was happy as fuck with this girl. I didn't want to see him hurt.

Hayley was exhausted about 95% of the time lately. I could hardly spend time with her. I was beginning to feel like things were on pause until this album cycle was over. When I thought about that I worried, what if she didn't want me holding her back. I knew it was stupidity and insecurity fuelling that thought but even still I was scared.

The days dragged on. Josh and Zac moved out, started renting in the city. Me, Jere and Hayley were looking for something and were planning the same thing.

One day while Hayley was working I decided to swing by the guys place to kill some time. We had a key so I just let myself in and headed up to the stoner room as we called it. I walked in and saw Josh, head over a table snorting lines.

"Shit, Selena. I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to be here. Fuck." He cleaned everything up.

"Josh, what's going on? You gotta be honest... Is Hayley doing it too? I need you to be real with me."

He lowered his head and nodded. "Not much, but yes. She is, and it's my fault Sel. I wanted someone to do it with and she was here after her shift one day and it just happened. She stops by sometimes and has a few lines... I just, I couldn't handle the pressure and lost it. Please don't say anything. I'm going to meetings starting tomorrow. I'm embarrassed. I never intended to drag her down with me."

"Dude! You're fucked. She's fucking been on edge since you guys got this stupid deal and now you've got her doing gd blow? Get bent dude." I turned and stormed out. SORRY IT'S SO SHORT GUYS! 


	12. One Day

I stormed down into the basement. I was done. This stupid record deal was over if this was what it was going to do.

"Hayley, we need to talk." she looked confused. Obviously Josh hadn't told her what was going on, which surprised me after my reaction. "I know you're doing blow again. Why baby? You had me the whole time and you choose to put shit up ypur fucking nose instead? That's supre not cool. I don't get it, you were so proud of your sobriety and then Josh gives you an opportunity just once to fuck yourself over and you take it? What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that you don't get it. This pressure. Do you know how much everyone expects from me? The guys want me to push my vocals to a new level and the studio expects me to have everything written and ready in a week and a half. You want every second of my spare time and somewhere in there I still need time for me. I cracked ok? Everybody does and so what if I like to get high now and again. We all do, just some of us need something stronger."

"Fuck you Hayley, don't you even put one little bit of this on me. I've been here for you every step of the way. I've driven you back and forth for recording, I've picked up all your slack around the house I friggen wait on your bated breath 95% of the time. All I do is try to make your life easier, so don't you _EVER_ try blaming your shit on me."

I turned my back and started up the stairs. She grabbed my leg about four up and started pulling.

"Don't go. I'm not done with this. If you're mad at me then stay and fight about it. You aren't running anymore Selena. You always run and I'm sick of that. When you have a problem you need to face it not hide. I'm owning my goddamn problem, now it's your turn kid." she yelled as she had me coming down the stairs with her.

"I'm scared to lose you. First because of recording and now because of the drugs. When I met you, I was head over heels for you. You wstaere so strong. Everything that happened with your parents, cleaning up the first time... You were golden. I never want that gold to go Hayley, and even now you're an empty shell. Please, don't let it go bad. Let's get you help. I won't run, if you don't." I put my hand out to her, and she rested it in mine.

"Mmmm... Perfect." she whispered.

We worked our life on a day by day basis. Hayley quit her job, and was spending the extra time in drug therapy. It seemed to be working for her, she was slowly getting back to the old Hayley. I was never happier, she was doting on me regularly and she was writing again. The album was in post recording and the energy surrounding this Tennessee pop punk band was insane. Paramore was selling out every local venue and even got a small tour invite from one of Hayley's favorite bands New Found Glory.

She voiced her fears to me one afternoon while we were out smoking a bowl.

"I'm scared of touring. What about all the drugs out there? We're going to California for it, and I don't know if I can stay clean the whole time."

I pulled her in tight. "Baby, you won't. I've got you, I'll be there the whole time. Dr. Johan is a phone call away, he told you that already. Jere Bear's gunna have you... No worries love."

"You're too good to me. You know that?"

"I do, and I'll never let this go." I squeezed.


End file.
